Dancing with the NON Stars

This week, ABC came out with its sixth season of Dancing With The Stars or, as I like to refer to it, Dancing With The NON Stars. Most of the time, I don't know who half these people are. But, all of the time, I am entertained just the same. This is one reality show where the participants actually have to work like crazy to secure their spot for next week. And, if you're slightly overweight, you're sure to be in great shape by the time the show concludes.

With a cast of 6 men and 6 females, it's easy to see who will be eliminated first. I said these very same words when Jerry Springer was part of the cast yet his fan base kept him on the show quite awhile. So my elimination process is loosely based on their performance although we all know that if they're popular, they will stay longer than they should.

Who should go?

Penn Jillette -- over 6'5 and big and clumsy
Adam Carolla -- should stick to comedy
Steve Guttenberg -- should stick to acting even though I can't remember the last time he was in a movie
Marissa Jaret Winokur -- very cute but it's going to be hard for her to compete because she's not as agile as the other contestants
Monica Seles -- I wanted her to do well but she was far too stiff
Marlee Matlin -- getting the sympathy vote from the judges just like Heather Mills did

So that leaves us with six who actually have a chance --

Kristi Yamaguchi -- definitely the one to beat
Priscilla Presley -- 62 years old and looking great
Shannon Elizabeth -- the longest legs on the show...how can I not root for a poker player
Jason Taylor -- should give up football and become a model because he's so good looking
Christian de la Fuente -- very Latin and very hot
Mario -- the youngest on the show and clearly the one of the men to beat

So there you have it. I think it's between Kristi Yamaguchi and Mario to take this one down this season. But even if you don't win, as much as the title of this show is Dancing With The Stars, it could also be known as How To Revive Your Career. Let's face it. Donnie Osmond is riding high once again simply because his sister danced on the show. Marie Osmond is getting her own talk show. Drew Lachey is almost as popular as his brother Nick Lachey. Lisa Rinna is now doing red carpet interviews. Paulina Porizkova is now a judge on America's Next Top Model. Joey Fatone now hosts a game show. And why do athletes like Evander Holyfield, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith and Clyde Drexler go on a show like this when they're already so famous.? Clearly it's to broaden their fan base and gain new admirers. I certainly like them better than when they played their respective sports.

In any event, all of these "D" List stars will be dancing their way to better careers and possible moving up the list to "C" or "B". Let's just hope that Kathy Griffin doesn't decide to do this show because where would we all be if she no longer is able to tape her own reality show, My Life On The D List.